"Cut the emo crap, kid."

Best idea i've had in awhile.

So, I am hereby on hiatus.

Or a fast from Xanga blogging, if you will.

Still wanna talk? offwithyourhead13@yahoo.com or, message me.

"There's no one that can top your smile"

Psalm 130:5-6

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning."

The body was not designed to live in a constant state of fear. Hence why, sooner or later, we cope.

But I'm so sick of panicking. I feel so alone.

And I know that God cares how we feel, and he wants to fulfill the desires of his children. But I'm afraid. It feels like none of my big desires have been fulfilled, so I become doubtful of him.

The job is good.

I feel guilty for saying this, but i'm so done with church right now.

I feel tired...and I don't feel like I have any reason to be. Is that strange?

"Lightning strikes, maybe once, maybe twice"

I've had these super vivid dreams lately. They feel so real. I remember what the people in my dreams are wearing, how they smell, if they are warm or cold. Talking to them, hugging them, the expressions on their faces.

Then I wake up. For a moment, it was all so real. Then it just faded as soon as it came.

I feel so tired today. I think this June gloom has got everybody down. This feels like the slow, hibernation period of summer.

So my job actually gave me more hours for this upcoming week. I was sooo surprised. That never happens. I'm kind of excited. I mean, it's more money right? The Lord knows what I have need of when I need it. Still, and I feel stupid over this, I am apprehensive of my job, and the people I work with. And having self-doubt over my own capabilities only makes me more anxious.

I need a vacation, don't I? Hehehe.

Well, a mini one is coming. Just gotta be patient. Just gotta get through the June gloom.

And try to stay awake through the long days.

Psalm 48:13-14

...that you may tell the next generation that this is God, our God forever and ever

He will guide us forever/He will guide us beyond death.

"There's no reason at all why you can't leave here with me"

Isaiah 29:14

therefore, behold, I will again do wonderful things with this people, with wonder upon wonder, and the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the discernment of their discerning men shall be hidden."

Yesterday was a lovely day.

I registered at the local community college and my placement testing will take place in a couple weeks. I have a different test to take next week as well. I think my mom was right, when she said that life in itself has just been a giant test as of late. Whenever we get ready to go on vacation, all these these things happen before that never fail to keep us busy.

I saw Star Trek again. And yes, I enjoyed it even more the second time. :)

And I also got some new clothes for summer. If you saw my closet right now, you'd definitely think I wasn't done with winter.

In some ways, I don't think I am. I know I can't avoid the summer forever though.

And the changes that come with it.

Currently Friendly Fires By Friendly Fires Jump in the Pool see related

"Fear is falling away"

Romans 11:29, 33, 36

For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable (unalterable).

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!

For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

God is sovereign. This either makes us run or rejoice. At times, I confess I'm torn between both.

But my heart aches for those who aren't just torn, but who are running away from Him completely. There are so many hollow people in the world. And I hate seeing them go unloved and uncared for.

No one should be alone. I hate that we as people can be stuck in such complacencies that we forget to look from the outside perspective, instead of just the inside.

Aside from this ranting, life is fine. God is good all the time. And did I mention

He's sovereign?

Peace